Getting there. I think I'm getting there.
Doc said the infection can't be too bad or I'd have symptoms other than pain in my lower back. We still don't know what it is, but I once again got to practice precision peeing by filling an entire row of tiny test tubes. (it's alliteration week, now YOU try it!)
I even turned on my absolute powers of cute (yeah, yeah, how far I've come from the girl who'd tear out the throat of anyone who'd even use the c-word) and doc and I managed not only an intelligent repart�e, but for the first time in my life I think a doctor actually listened to me as though she was paying actual heed to what I was saying. Mind-boggling, let me tell you.
More blood tests and more precision peeing in my near future are to be expected, but I'm neither scared nor nearly in as much pain as I was last week. I'm still sore, but between the chiropractor and the physio that begins on Friday I should be hauling twice my weight around any day now.
And since we want to start trying again before the snow melts (seeing as it started falling already), I need to be in the best shape possible or I'll be sore all the way through my next pregnancy.
(see how easily those words slipped right out? I think I'm finally ready to be thinking that way now, not just forcing myself to look forward. I'm enthused about the prospect of all those changes all over again, of what will be different next time, of how much better I will cope -- or not, of how bravely I will sail through nine months straight into labour.)
Parenthetical statements aside, life is on the up. I'm still more tired than I like to be, and still sore and prone to anti-socialness -- but it's bearable and improving tangibly enough that the strains of panic have ebbed entirely.
And now I'm repeating myself.
Today's discharge visit (no, nobody leaked on me) at the midwife clinic went smoothly -- and I think I surprised P. when she found me cross legged on the waiting room floor cooing at a very shy little girl. I think a lot of her tensions eased too with that, we're both doing a lot better. I had a peek at the results of the amnio that (may have) started all this and was relieved to feel mostly curiosity and wonder at everything they contained. The image of where they had positioned the needled to suction the fluid was a little hard to look at, but engendered a discussion with P. about the whole experience and it was nice to get that out too.
After that I treated myself to an utterly divine meat-and-potato roti on a random hungry whim, and whilst it certainly didn't advance my mission to lose the pregancy weight it did remind me of the wonders of previous trips to Toronto, almost ten years ago now. Whilst Montreal is rife with a spectacular variety of delicacies, one thing I've never eaten outside Toronto is indian roti.
And now, I'm off to master step two in the gentrification of the monstre: The Peach Pie. The freezer is filled with peaches frozen straight from M's dad's trees, and since the pumpkin experiments turned out so well, y'see, I figured...
Mouahahahaha. Either that, or I'll put the peachiness off until tomorrow and get started on building those speaker shelves... Dave NEVER should have bought that jig-saw and left it unattended... Behold my cleverly notched universe!