Comments:

politika - 2004-09-30 10:16:05
You need to take some time for yourself, to heal emotionally *and* physically. Having sid that, I totally understand the almost abnormalo desire to be doing something *anything* productive at all times. To rest and relax is fine for a few days but weeks?? I know it's tough (people like us thing that only accomplishing 4 or 5 things in a day is a slow and lazy day... workaholics that we are) but you need to do it for a bit. Slowly you will regain the strength to do more and more. Try a little something every day and you will see that you will grow stronger and stronger. And for gods' sakes, talk to people on the phone at least. It will help you to feel more connected to the world outside. And when you are ready have a good friend come over for a half hour to hang out and have tea. Only a half hour mind you. You need to pamper yourself a bit right now, in every way possible. Please take good care of yourself, we all need you to get well physically, emotionally and mentally. And have a good cry whenever you feel you need to, it does wonders for the soul (I know I have done my fair share on your behalf the past few days).
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Katherine - 2004-09-30 13:15:34
Try not to worry about work and the effect of taking time off. From experience I can tell you that no one of any merit or importance is going to judge you or think less of you because you are taking time off. Mothers get maternity leave. You've just given birth...this was not an early trimester miscarriage (and even it if it were, you'd be suffering greatly and need time).

There will be a zillion other projects, and as my boss said to me when I fretted about leaving to look after my terminally ill mother: "In the big scheme, work is unimportant." He was right. What's that old joke about how no one in their right mind would have as their epitaph, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office."

It sounds like the pressure your mother and father have always put on you out of habit, presumably, is so deeply embedded in your psyche that they don't even need to be there - you'll put the pressure on yourself. The expectation to be perfect and wonder-woman strong, to bounce back so you can fulfill every duty outside of the ones you have to yourself. Time to kick these shoulder-squatting devils in the ass, perhaps? You'll never change your parents...but get those people out of you asap! :) Life's just given you a grand opportunity to work more of that out.

P.S. Stephen Levine has written insightful and inspiring books about death and dying. He comes at it from a Zen perspective. These might be helpful now.
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