I reached into my guts and found a fistful of something.
I've always had guts. I've always been able to find this something in the bowels of some strange flavour of determination.
I've always had something holding up my chin e'en whilst my jaw shook.
I reached into my gut this morning and found something built of ruby-red autumn spirits, the smiles of strangers, the awareness of the changes in my reactions to repeating situations.
When my boss sat down and asked me to meet with him to strategize the future of his team, all of a sudden I wasn't the terrified and overworked contractor standing up for herself and being told to shut up and take the money and ulcers that go with it.
I was someone whose insight and maturity is valuable.
When my headache settled in for the morning, I wasn't aching to go home, I was leaning back comfortably and typing more carefully than usual.
The opportunity to gain experience in quiet meticulousness amidst the more common exuberant chaos is infinitely valuable.
I am quiet today.
It has been a long and tiring week, filled with my own stresses and learning experiences, a little short on sleep and a little long on emergency situations.
I was sore disappointed with people for a while there. Sore and starting to question why to bother.
Today my boss took me aside and used big words "trust" "depend" "rely on" "do anything to keep".
I could have hugged him. One day I will.
In the meantime I am off to a vernissage of photographic talent, and then to some exceedingly deserved rest.
ALl is right in a world in which I can still find poetry.
ALl is right, right now.