Something very much shaped like a lotus blossom opened up in my heart last night, and contrary to popular cliche - I hadn't realized it was missing until it appeared.
Last night, amidst stress-induced words and misunderstanding, however brief and unimportant the conversation, I found an anger that had hidden from scrutiny, a resentment of a small piece of the universe that was unfair, unreal.
I spoke to it, sitting on the front stoop of the house, staring down the falling tulips.
I coddled it, cajoled this newly discovered shard embedded in my heart, and then I kissed it until it began to change.
I watch it bloom into Yet Another Flower, plucked it and wove it into my hair as Dave's rumble warmed over the icy pathways in my veins.
The other day I received an email from my pseudo-cousin (many times removed by marriage but as like me despite four decades of age difference as a twin). Rambling and laughing and in five lines of text she filled my heart with that feeling --
you know that feeling.
The one where you realize that you have had the fortune to encounter truly amazing people, and to love them.
And that other feeling, where you realize that they love you too.
We keep in touch once every couple of months. It is enough. Enough to keep the heart warm through a thousand spiritual winters.