For my birthday, which in some states still seems to be celebrated, the not only thoughful but of absolutely impeccable taste princess bought me a calendar.
With 1920s caricatures of muderesses in it.
Black and red and traces of white and it was rather breathtaking in the way it leaped out from my pale yellow office wall and threatened (this month) to poison passers-by with pulverized paste-necklaces sprinkled over a tray of canapes.
I'm sorry princess, I ruined your calendar.
I started writing on it, y'see, filling in the play that I promised to go see with David on the 26th, filling in the play he promised to see with me, oh wait...
There's no room.
There's blue and black and purple and red streaks of expensive corporate ball-peen everywhere. Thursdays gaming nights and Saturday ski team and the Colin James concert on the 27th that somehow I have to find my way back in time for, and and and...
And yesterday I didn't show up to Foufs after all. I'm sorry cf and the 18 other people who called... I honestly didn't expect anyone to show, and I was so tired and so frightened of those round black tables with their leering ashtrays surrounded by graceful smoking fingers...
"Gila, if you don't want to quit smoking, then why are you quitting?"
"It's an ego thing."
And lunchtime today we actually got ourselves organized and headed out to the gym, where I pulled my usual "bah, I can bench press more than that comfortably!" and the slight dizziness of my afternoon is dreamy.
And last night I cooked my first tuna casserole ever, with David's kind offer to come over and help but the idea of him coming over to help me cook...
And I needed my alone time.
And it was realli good. REALLI.
And tonight I'm going whole hog and trying to make a lentil dal. With fresh cilantro if I can find it.
Because I'm at the beginning of a project and I can still leave work this week before 10pm, and because Dave's got band practice tonight and I don't have to be on EQ until 7:30pm to help with ports.
And I figure it'll take my mind off how good it feels to have a smoke when I first wander through the door. :)