Funny how birth control pills drive some women up the wall and have them acting more erratic than usual...
...I didn't take mine this month because I missed the first week (couldn't find them) and wanted to see what would change in my body.
Not much, which is a good sign - I used to have to take them for the cramps I'd get otherwise. I have cysts on my ovaries that not only make sex painful on occasion (would you believe long penises are a problem for me?!? Hehehehe.), but make menstruation unbearable.
THen I got pregnant when I was 18, and, well, at least the cramps went away.
Anyway.
I think the emotional PMS rollercoaster is plaguing me more'n usual today. Or maybe that's a better excuse than stress, but this is irrational.
I'm furious with people for little reason.
It usually takes a lot more to get past my skin.
I keep trying to bite off heads.
If it wasn't for the sweet warm glow of being drunk again for the fourth consecutive day... (we had a barbecue at lunch to celebrate soemthing or other) and if it wasn't for the fact that I know myself and how desperately I hated myself when I gave in to these whims a few years ago...
I just want to screamtearmyhairCRYREALLYHARDpunchsomeoneand
breakthemtelleveryonehowstupidtheyareanything...
Anything.
Maybe this week's alky binge has a bit more behind it than occasional partyness.
Massimo keeps telling me I need a drink.
I think I need a healthy dose of acid to crawl it's way through my veins and clear out some of this shite.
"Acid on the floor so she walks on the celing..."
*sigh*
Hrmmm.
I just know it hurts, and there's no reason for it to - and that's what really bothers me.