I'm too intense.
Heehee.
Hihihihihihihi.
That wasn't my idea, but looking back on yesterday I guess a faint inkling of what my accusers could have meant, reaches out at me.
Faintly.
Yesterday, being a day off in the midst of a three-day-weekend, was a rare treasure - all the things I Have To Get Done got wrapped up squarely on Friday - like laundry and bills and groceries, and all the things I Want To Get Started On only happen today - like manual driving lessons, and checking out the IJA (international juggler's association)'s local chapter that meet on Sundays.
So yesterday was an anomaly. No responsabilities, no carefully etched and timed and rostered plans, nada.
For a day that for all purposes shouldn't really have existed - my muscles are pretty achin'.
From three minutes before I raced out to meet the gothkids for breakfast, when Christian (no longer dubbed anti-dyke-guy, certain issues have been resolved) beeped me to let me know it was his birthday - until after dragging Greg into town, to watch Titan AE with said birthday boy (not bad, and hey - I made it alllll the way through a movie! I'm so proud!), to grabbing a beer at cf188's ex-favourite cafe, to...
Wandering the crowded streets of the Jazzfest (I'm not sure I actually got to hear any jazz) to watching a video at Greg's's over-authentic-americana-antique styled parents's house...
To quiet explanations to Greg that This Would Be a Bad Idea, I swear,
The one thing that reaches out at me, warm wet tendrils of serenity, is the thirty seconds of Utter Silence, on the back porch at said uber-house in Westmount, tired and a little confused - the first drags of a cigarette, in the rain, under a canopy of too-perfectly arranged vines, looking out at the waterfall, smelling the sheer damp quiet and green.
30 seconds of utter escape from the city, in some over-priced backyard in some over-extravagant area of town, before Greg wandered out to pester me, before the world came flooding back in crowing insistence to be Dealt With.
Just me, the insistent ember of a cigarette, and damp earth.
The smell of it is still in my nostrils, and I'm off to start today with the strength of a planet behind me.