Swallowing the handful of blocks home yesterday, a big man on a wee tinny-blue bicycle, huddled in a leather jacket so beat-up it looked like a torn plastic grocery bag - pulled up alongside me and serenaded me with 1950's love songs.
For some reason I should have been utterly terrified but frankly, despite the awful stench of not having had the opportunity to bathe in ages - he had a beautiful voice.
And the song was delightful.
And I marched home, images of the minotaurs I'd slain in Drew's campaign flashing through my brain, wondering how the hell I'm supposed to feel about Ratboy and Marcel and that other kid that gamed with us last night.
Y'see, Shammy's desperate for players to test out his scenarios before they get published, and he's desperate for me to play along on these scenarios - otherwise nothing will ever get anywhere.
Why?
Because when I stoop to calling someone "dirt-stupid" - they're still nowhere near as slow, thick, and infuriatingly unable to learn as those kids.
They don't bother me as much as they should, strangely enough - screaming out "DYKE" everytime I walk into the room and discussing penis-length and ten million other things that ought to make me uncofortable - don't.
But it bothers me that ratboy has failed grade 9 three times, his girlfriend having failed it four times - not just because they skipped class.
Because a fully functional human being who is finally graduating from high school but who will not be going to university - is going to be set free as an adult in society.
Ratboy will get a job, most likely in a mailroom if he's lucky, and will proceed to make life painful and difficult for people who are more affected by his irresponsability than I am.
And it's not that he's cruel, or selfish, or immature - he's just incapable of comprehending simple concepts such as the fickle nature of truth, respect, anything, really...
So I'm the sociopath with the hostile attitude, but he's the redneck who's going to be causing all the damage.
And while the jewish faith teaches us to give to charity because this god of theirs intentionally made some people rich and some people poor so that we could experience the joy of sharing - what the hell was this god intending us to do with our intelligence?
I'm far from brilliant as it is, but I would sit myself down in a donor chair in nanoseconds if I knew a way to give anything to the Ratboys of the world.
And I would kiss my burgeoning career goodbye in doing so, but at the same time, next time we go gaming, maybe someone else would come up with a Patented Clever Plan.
Heh.