The past few days have been rather charged.
Electrically, even.
That sort of sexual electricity that stands my hair on end, and I don't mean the pink stuff...
Ahem.
We have a custom here at Gemplus. Every week, usually on Thursdays so that there is still a day before we disappear for the weekend in case anyone has any questions, the mosntre is responsible for teaching Tia a new sexual term.
This all started with "rimjob". And escalated to "dildo, strap-on, g-spot, fisting, a complete annotated description of how to masturbate effectively (something I'd disturbed to find that not enough people do!!!) and has turned into something that David likes to call "The Sexual Education of Tia" and is beggnig for the movie rights to, seeing as Marn already has the movie rights to my life, and I think Steven had the rights to my biography (though I would much prefer that it be a bibliography)...
But I digress.
Point being, much to David and Tia and Dan's delight, and everyone else's dismay -- last week's word was "Kegel Muscles".
No, I'm not fucking explaining it. Look it up for yourself, there's a good little geek...
I think I've explained it more than enough times since Thursday.
I explained it in the gym, one hand on my belly, trying to explain how to clench and unclench them.
I explained it that evening, to my boys, whereupon ensued our first sexual conversation ever, when I tried to explain that you can *pull* things as well as push them.
I exlpained it to David when he asked about that strange sensation he'd never felt before and how I manage to trap him like that when he's trying to leave.
Justin accused me of training an army of geisha girls. I was just shocked that not *everyone* had figured out about it taking the bus home as a teenage girl wearing tight jeans.
Helllooooo. How to orgasm on a particularly long and boring bus-ride. Learn it. Love it. Become a happier person because you're lost in afterglow.
Point again being, that after spending so many days talking about sex, working out specific muscles for sex, masturbating and reading porn... When I finally got my hands on the poor boy on Sunday night...
...I nearly killed 'im. Neither of us were walking yesterday.
And then I had this idea.
Ben-wah balls.
Y'see, Tia was having trouble visualizing the right muscle.
So I went Valentine's day shopping.Got a pair (which are apparently precisely the same as Kaff's pair) for me and a pair for Tia. I nearly bought a box of chocolate boobies to bring to work but they weren't very pretty boobies so I skipped out.
Needless to say, those balls are my best friends (and here I thought I had every single toy that a girl needed), Tia's terrified of them, my abs hurt, David's, uhm, "thingy" hurts, I'm behind on work because all I've got on my mind is sexsexsexsexsex (it's a week to PMS, yes, this type of horniness is a monthly thing) and I've got two articles to write for our shitty internal newspaper that I'm becoming increasingly disillusioned with.
And I'm hoping that David doesn't take tonight's movie date to mean that I want to do something for Valentine's day, it's NOT a date, we're just the only two people left who haven't seen Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon three or four times, or even once...
And I've officially defenestrated my office, no more winblows or microshite anywhere to be seen, and I even got the sound card working. It took me most of Sunday, but it wasn't your usual day in the office.
There was WAY too much beer involved, and somehow with breakfast that morning and heading over to Eric's for a dinner break (utterly forgetting that he's a teacher in a CHEF school -- dinner was considerably more spectacular than one would imagine what with shrimp appetizers and salted beef and salad and home-made pesto-and-goat-cheese pizza...) and playing Hey-Eric-where-did-your-daughter-go-when-she's-hanging-upside-down-over-my-shoulder-the-entire-time-giggling-her-head-off with Chloe...
Sunday was spectacular even without the mindbending sex. DId I mention it, though? It was rather mind-bending.
So don't ask me anymore windows config questions, because I simply won't remeber what it looks like within a week.
Right.
I love you guys. I love everyone. I'm too tired and sore and giggly not to.
But fuck do I need tah git me some coffeeeeeee...
And work. Gotta get some more work done.