A few of the most emotional conversations I've had in a very long time sprung out at me this past weekend.
Hardly a common occurrence, but behind the shit-eating grin I was thrilled by them.
I tried to open the tear-ducts behind my eyes and found myself not needing to, and waltzed into work today energized and ready to conquer - which in some respects, I did.
I interviewed a handful of candidates this morning and maybe it put my candidature in a new perspective.
At one point, I went so far as to ask a fellow - "so are computers just a job or a passion?"
"Oh, I'm just programming cuz it's easier work than accounting."
NOT the sort of outlook that's going to lead us to discoveries. Hrmm.
Either way, I wandered into the boys' place this evening riled and primed for gaming, and discovered just how starved for physical affection I was after this weekend.
I wandered in to find out that I'd be creating a new character for their old campaign (the uber-elite one that so few people have ever gotten to play) and not only was I handed the most powerful character (PC *OR* NPC) I've ever seen - but shortly after came a warm pair of arms.
And more and more of them as the boys got home.
Watching Marc's latest slew of comical videos, massaging his bald pate as Lucky rubbed my shoulders - and endless variations of humour and dazzling music and warmth.
When we finally started gaming, my belly full and my sides aching with laughter and my shoulders more relaxed than they have been for years - Chris and Marc had to figure out how to get their characters into a Sabbat town that I'd already infiltrated along with my darling gargoyle, Varga.
So I crawled onto the couch, sprawled into Lucky's side, and listened to their brilliant stratagems.
Lucky stroked my hair with the tenderness of a friendship I couln't begin to explain, with the same neediness that drives my fingers into massaging someone else's scalp, and I passed out for a handful of glorious hours.
Somehow, sprawled on a couch beside a bony man - I nearly achieved some level of this weekend's comfort.
And right now, I am too relaxed and happy to remember any tears - an ignoble state, but a temporarily permissible one.
(some people can be unfairly convincing)
Is it possible to be gleefully content?
It is tonight.
And I wish I could pass on a piece of it to you.