It's in my calves and the slight twinge in my shoulders, my eyes are open but my head is so heavy with the thumping, thundering.
This weekend I pushed hard. This weekend I woke up early and left here early and raced and ran and went and moved and returned long after my body had given up on going to sleep.
This weekend I saw a thousand people, Miche and the pagan/bdsm crowd, brunch with colourful people and David's bemusement that his daughters were clambering in the lap of a man he'd once seen whip a girl strapped to a wall at a party in December.
Cf's party was eventful, people I haven't seen in a very long time, drunken giggling and posturing, Nick and I reclaiming CF as our time-share bitch.
Mysteria is a charming partier. From ecclectic dance moves to an excellent affinity for wet-willying good-natured strangers.
My knuckles may be a little bruised from connecting with Robin's jaw. Whoups.
Bruno hopped by, rolled a fatty just like on Valentine's day, expecting a crowd and only the two of us smoking, the world became very twisty then, exhaustion making staying upright more difficult than before, people that I only half like suddenly less pleasant to be sitting next to, but princess was there and Tia was there and Anna showed up with plane tickets that will take cf and I to frankfurt where we can take a train to Turkey from.
Then cowfucker invaded my body space and I freaked. Too big for my stoned little world, laughing as though this was some sort of joke I couldn't find the words to explain I'M FUCKING CLAUSTROPHOBIC AND YOU'RE STANDING SO CLOSE I CAN'T BREATHE and from that moment on I was on edge and Having A Bad Time. I wandered the appartment waiting to be sober enough to drive home. I didn't feel safe. I was terrified and it was all centered on him because that was where it had started. Drunkenly chasing me around and cackling evilly was just that, and my spine is still shuddering.
I didn't like it, couldn't breathe, think, loose the grasp of it from my brain.
Bruno made a joke about it at brunch on Sunday, how all we need to keep me in line was Justin's looming beltbuckle aimed at my forehead. I shuddered and grinned and turned back to Laryssa, our everquest dwarved paladding friend who's in town this week.
She's beautiful. LIke really beautiful. To quote Dazahan "any chick willing to play a dwarf has got to be cool" and I'm heavily inclined to make that a universal truth. She's amazing, in town for a two week intensive stage-combat course, more out of personal interest than to further her career as an actor, but the flying kick she learned to do in four days had me stunned.
I took her shopping to medieval shops, we celebrated our fetish for glassware and kitchen appliance and she taught me about honey powder to powder the body with. What a concept, I need to hang out with beautiful women more often.
We were interviewed by Flare magazine on our way back up St-Denis street, they stopped us and took pictures and asked questions about our opinions on "beauty". Partway through my ()#$^*(%@( cell phone rang.
It was an intensely surreal moment...
Then I drove her around the mountain, to lookout point to show her the sprawling enormity of this city, she'd been here a hundred times but had no idea of it's enormity. I take all my visitors there...
Dropped her off at her sister's pad for another epson salt bath for her sore bones and headed back to pick up cf and mysteria and we clambered around the mountain, my body already straining to stay upright, but dinner at Santropol and the promise of David joining us shortly had me going again.
We went to Sofa bar, found it on the first try, had some impressive port. Picked up David on the way and he met us downstairs because his place was messier than mine, even. I used over a half tank of gas going back and forth between my neighbourhood and downtown yesterday, but it was an adventure. Towards the end of the day I was parking crooked.
Went to Bleu et Noir like I'd been praying I'd have the energy for, ran into far too many people I hadn't been expecting to see. We went to see Benoit perform, though but the bands were running late and I hugged him and spoke to him instead and David looked uncomfortable again.
I don't think he's ever going to get used to me and it's starting to scare me.
But John just pointed out, my headspace is fucked up right now. The reunion sex late late into this morning was wonderful but the utter lack of sleep and the nightmares of being a long-black-haired male child rapist have me shaken.
Work. Work is always the same. Carpets, pale yellow walls, paperclips hanging from my ceiling.
Ungung work now.