I raced out of here yesterday with Peter hot on my heels and both of us bemoaning our miserable days and with nerves twanging and screaming and hands shaking so hard I typed in the wrong damn code TWICE at the bank machine otw to meet Tiffy.
Nothing worked nothing worked no ten linux re-installs none of the config attempts NOTHING.... Even with the new assigned IP.
HAH.
I came in this morning, tried to install dual-boot winblows and linux and fdisk was burping at me so I install linux one more time and work out my partitions that way.
I figure, why not boot linux just once, just in case, heart pounding and stomach in knots.
I ping myself, enter the IP wrong and get no reply.
I fix it. I get a reply.
I ping the gateway and DOUBLETAKE SO HARD I snapped my neck...
I can see the gateway.
I push my luck, I ping yahoo by IP.
It works.
I push a little harder and ping it by name.
Ca marche.
Holy fuck on a stick so now I'm running Gnome and downloading JDK and stuff and all works...
And I should've known yesterday.
The same thing happenned LAST time I was getting unpredictable results.
The machine just needed a reallllly long downtime to recover. I'd left it on for two days as I am wont to do and it was overheating.
IT WORKS.
Thanks, Tiff.
Why?
Cuz I wandered into Cine Express yesterday to meet Tiff, nervous and afraid and worried it would be awkward and so preoccupied with yesterday's utter failure that...
And we just sat down and started talking and laughing and reminiscing and Tiff has this amazing way of looking back with this glee and appreciation that makes everything wonderful.
WONDERFUL.
Chasing Marc around the locker area in CEGEP, taunting him viciously with sex and foulness, sitting around and playing impossible-question games, and the way Tony and I were so intensely together...
I made the mistake of looking back not with regret or anger, but still with an inlking of "I was miserable" and complete forgot about all the wonderful bits.
And it's terrifying how much we've "grown up". I can't say changed because the hugs still feel the same (and oh how wonderful, I can't believe I forgot...) but all the things that drove me to despair of bitterness and loneliness and that utter desolation at "not being understood"...
All gone. I'm still freaked and trying to figure things out and always will be - but... All the nasty stuff was gone.
Maybe it's the hormones. Maybe it's the stress.
I don't care what it was, but Tiff...
Thank you for making my month. I came home rejuvenated and exhausted to the bone but ready to face everything and anything because...
Somehow you just reminded me of how much I love being alive.
And you'd better make it to breakfast on Saturday.
Something about a friend who knows things about me because she was there as opposed to having to be told...
It's an odd, odd feeling, but... It feels good.
Maybe I'm looking to settle down as far as friends go and I'm being wistful. Maybe I'm tired of every interaction involving the same grin and "Great to meet you, give me ten minutes to make you think I'm awesome" bullshit.
Okay, it's nowhere near as grand nor as 'orrible as that, but...
Eitehr way, Tiff, thank you. You're more beautiful than I'd remembered and I owe you for that.
And I'll figure out about the friend thing sometime this summer. Hrmm.