*sigh*
Steven, you were so brave and wonderful tryin' to help me out with that damned network card yesterday...
I finally contacted RedHat and the support dude laughed at me. We got my drivers running.
Of course... I still can't connect my little baby Linux box to the internet. Why not?
Cuz my gateway isn't on the same subnet as me.
Ahem. What does that mean? TO me, it means the first few bytes of the ip addresses don't match. WHy does this work with a windows box and not a linux box?
Alls I know is you have to be more specific with your routes. I know ten different ways to do that now from using netcfg like all luser GUI-dependant people, the ifconfig comand, or routing through the /etc and rc.d directories...
Wheeee....
Well, at least I'll be ready when they hand me that brand spanking new laptop and say "get out stuff to run on it in time for the show!"
That, as far as I can tell, involves setting up the box, getting Java, Apache and application and web server happening (can you tell how many times I've gotten that far? Once. Three years ago.)
And THEN installing a smartcard reader, the smartcard standard libs and porting the code.
I don't understand half of how that's going to happen yet, in the meantime...
I'm going to beat this box if'n it's the last thingie I do... :)
In the meantime, I'm cheating.
No, not at work. At the life bits. I've been avoiding... Well, avoiding everything.
I've been racing home right after work to make some food and log on to EQ... Alright, I'm particularly motivated right now to make the next four levels (DING! lvl 16 last night! I was researching my new spells and came up with Pillar of Fire and 'Indentify' [nowhere near as useful a spell as it was in Diablo]) at 1am...) and catch up to SHeora and get some useful spells but...
Something snapped when I got back from Orlando and I've been avoiding, well, everything.
I think I took the vacation concept too far and took a vacation from my entire lifestyle. Which technically is the idea but I think I got a little confused since I'd never done that before... Regardless, I'm starting to have that nagging pang of somethin'...
I'm feeling guilty about avoiding people.
Every invite I've gotten in the past couple of weeks I've ended up falling out on because of some emergency or other. That's unlike me. Sure, half the time I can't make it to something because I'm busy - but generally... It's cuz I'm doing something else and I've warned you and taken a raincheck as opposed to hiding at home behind the covers and keyboard.
It's not that I've fallen into some sudden trap of insecurity and can't face people like when I was little, I just...
Don't feel like dealing with those issues right now.
Don't feel like being poked and prodded right now.
Don't feel like supplying the entertainment right now.
Feeb's imaginary fanclub will have to have a short hiatus in Hawaii 'ere it resume.
I need a break.
I can't think. I take myself too seriously. Human interaction has always been so stressful. An increasingly simple (once you get the hang of it) sort of complicated, but complicated nonetheless.
So I've been cheating. I've been avoiding life.
I've been getting my love and affection from the guild guys in EQ, and while I'm sure a lot of people substitute EQ (or TV) for their lives, something about the action of planning out this weekend turning into "what can I skip so I can play EQ" suddenly worried me.
Cuz in all honesty I'd love to skip it all and lock up in my room and just play for hours on end.
Especially with all this new research stuff happenning.
Dont' worry Maria, I'm there for breakfast Saturday, and I'll pick Kaff up if she'd like to come, can't make it to the mountain tho cuz I have to be at my uncle's in the early afternoon.
Saturday night, I'll be at that party...
Other than that? I have a sneaking suspicion I'm forgetting plans on Friday and Sunday but... I'm sure Kaff will remind me. Weren't you getting time off or something?
I'm sure someone will come screaming down the walls soon.
I'm sorry I took off on you guys last night, Kaff and Q, I love you I really do I think I just need a break from talking to people for a bit.
Maybe until the OHMYGODI'DBETTERNOTMESSUPHERE stress from the new job ebbs a little.
Maybe that's it. Maybe it's the new stress. *licks lips* yep... That's what it tastes like, alright.
Too much stress so I'm cheating and letting it get to me and giving up on the people I love.
Oh dear oh dear oh dear.
Guys, think you can handle it if'n I take a social-in-person break?
I'll be back and in full gear soon as the good weather hits, but right now I think I need some alone time.
I certainly don't plan on making this a habit and letting work overrun my ability to function. EQ is only slightly better than TV... I don't want to turn into a vegetable. Ever.
But T'ain't easy being the official MonStreal slut all da time (Gets hard to remember all the names and faces, for one. ;), and maybe I need to restart a few bones here and there. It takes more energy than I have right right now.
Thank Ford for my supernatural brilliance, or I'd be turning into a mundane... Oh dear, I think that's pink edging onto the ashen at the tips of my fingers...
RIIIIIIIGHT.
'nyway, I'm all incoherent so I'm takin' off on ya and I'll be back in full frontal nudity (I mean full force) anon.