I'm not talking about the weather to be polite.
Amazing how Montreal is the only place I've ever been that can so utterly lose any sense of familiarity in a five minute intervention of weatherly capitulation.
Ahem.
It poured like a bitch this morning. I took my umbrella out for the first time in my life, not in worry over my hair (it curls precisely the same no matter what happens to it) but to start my second day with relatively dry underwear.
Didn't happen, and my thighs are still a little damp, and I swear it wasn't the thought of you.
Regardless, I had a helluva time getting here this morning and still managed to make it in by quarter to nine.
Mind-boggling concept.
oooh, and the delightful "second-floor assistant" Chantal just handed me my key and some drop-dead gorgeous guy named "Steve" I think just introduced himself in the hallway and asked me what I do.
"I don't know. Right now I'm trying to get a linux box working".
Techincally, I work with Phillipe, and the mention of his name still seems to send peopel cowering, but my job description says "Developer" (spelled that way) and I just want this machine to connnnneeeeect...
I've switched network cards, installed a Win2000 machine on that network port, got THAT working, I have all the right addresses for namservers and gateways and even BROADCAST address wotever that is...
No go.
But I ain't lettin' it lick me. I'm thinkin' between witnessing another bout of Quake Arena (Peter played, I asked questions), and re-installing Linux AGAIN, I'm going to go read some more on XML.
So far, it sounds idyllic.
So far, I think the network admin guys downstairs must hate me.
So far, there are as many women as men on this floor, and they all kinda look at me blankly and smile and I swear I'll introduce myself a la friendly monstre-way as soon as I've stopped worrying abotu this damned box.
In the meantime, I'm skulking around from office to machine room to coffee machine and avoiding glances.
It's the frenchie accents, I swear. ;)
Or not.
In the meantime, I played a bit of EQ last night, lost a lot of time and XP meeting up with Justin (Chuckie's friend) who joined our server so he could pester me with questions abotu orgasms whilst we played. He played the chickie and made penis jokes at me. Way weird. I gave him lotsa money and he was happy - funny how that works...
ANYWAY. I did end up grouping with a few drakes for a while, talking of Sheora and Dazahan's love "Scye" who's left Norrath for a while.
Then a giant starting chasing us, Feolin appeared out of nowhere to help us, and just as I'm trying to save Persuasion's skin from a gnoll hound or somesuch, I get a BLACK screen of death with only this in simple white letters "YOU HAVE BEEN DISCONNECTED."
Whoa. I couldn't log back in cuz the servers were busy, so I'm hoping I'm still alive when I log in tonight.
Not if, when... Yeeesh.
As for any inkling of profound thoughts, I hate a twinge of guilt last night, for behaving irritably and snubbing my dad when he called last night.
The edge of having consumed nothing but caffeine (the coffee machine was closer than the water fountain which I only discovered today), and the fact that I was preoccupied with EQ...
I totally ignored his excited questions abotu my first day, completely wrote off how proud he and my mum were.
I'm not used to it - they NEVER called me before, never in so bubbling a state of pride...
?!?!?
My dad's retired now and feeling way better than the bitter fuck he was when I was growing up, and seeing me dressed "less punk" and thinking of buying a car - that's it, he's decided that the fortune-tellers he consulted when I was a kid were right about me turning out OK when I hit my 20s. So he's stopped hating me. FOr now at least.
WHAT THE FUCK??!?
I was apparently so horrible a child (from the time he started calling me slut when I was 11 and first got my period) that he wasn't sure I'd turn out as smart as him.
Uh-oh.
FUCKING uh-oh.
I don't even want to start thinking down that road - I'm going to assume that likehis stepmom, he's lonely and bored and wants attention and know this is the only way he's going to get it.
Yippppeee.
In the meantime he offered to drive me to work in the mornings.
Not only do I not think I can handle that, but...
The thought of getting that close to my parents, and cf188's constant "you don't need to associate with them if they're bad people, you know, just cuz they're your parents..." has left me confused.
I still hate them as much as I did when I was a furious teenager, but now I hate them for being weak and stupid and unable to change... And for making me pity them so much.
Dunno. Dunno what I'll do. Common sense given to me by those very parents states that I should be thrilled that they're happy to have me again, and to launch myself into being the best JAPpy daughter they could ever hope for.
My heart of hearts says it's not too late to ask Brian to help me synthesize some cyanide and get that constant source of pain and confusion gone for good.
riiiiiiight.
GOtta go linux linux, baby,
Stupid Monstre.