I am so colossally tired of the web.
The more I learn about it's intricacies like webdav, or *ugh* flash, or even the pathetic attemps at reconciliation through multimedia like webtv and realaudio work... The more I'm disgusted by how little we've moved since the bare-background-text-only days when yahoo only had fifteen links.
I remember discovering IRC when I was a wee angry child. I remember the rush of exuberance at the mental image of a thousand cyberpunk stories coming together.
I remember looking forward to the day my fingers would work magic. Real magic.
I remember the thrilled awe when I realized I could publish something that the entire world would see. I remember urging on the waves of New Computer Users and watching the online community grow with unquenchable glee.
We were moving forward.
Now, what do we have? We have bookmark wars and popularity contests between pixellated media and other pixellated media.
No, look at my 3k-gifs! No wait, see the brilliance inherent in my ultra-suave totally-new take on flat space with limited colours.
I'm impressed. You've mastered javascript. JSP even, maybe, if your server supports it.
The only people out there who even know what's going on are the hackers, and I can't blame them if they seem intent on tearing it to pieces.
There's nothing else to do.
What happenned to my DNI? What happenned to my headjack, direct visual inputs, what happenned to pumping sound and fury and emotion from your heart directly into mine?
The web is a beautiful thing. It is a glorious gallery, and still a five-star hotel for those of us who'd have circuitry for veins, while we wait.
And wait...
And y'know what?
All this talk of browser-add-ons and direct-desktop-connections is boring.
And all this I'm always on about research and brilliance and wanting to do something?
Well, I plan to.
I'm learning.
Can't write off the current arts until I've mastered them, right?
Maybe that's part of the problem - maybe the gift of global community is also what is spreading us so thin while we struggle to keep up with the latest IETF papers.
Well, there's got to be a way. To keep learning, to keep up, and all the while... Remain creative enough, to create.
To create and invent and imagine - something totally new.
Entirely new.
And then build it, from the basics we've learned now, and from what the infinite complexity of our brains can string together.
I know you're out there, doing it too.
And I'm here, wanting to so badly.
And I will. As soon as I figure out how to balance self, and writing, and fun, and friends, and this lover business, and work and play...
And frankly, while I'm figuring how to balance all that too.
And maybe I'll give up a bit or two.
But in the meantime, I'm just so tired of the web, when I know I can do more.