"YOU again?!?!"
I don't think that I shall ever tire of watching that young man with his ferocious grin, and frayed pants flapping in the wind. This time, when we rolled down the window to bid good morning to the skater boy of the hood, he grabbed hold of my door and I had to grit my teeth and grin and not reach out to touch him.
I just wanted to see if he was real. Nobody smiles like that.
Then there's the grin of the beautiful young man in my expert systems class, who after his second pint was laughing a little more loudly than any of my jokes rightfully deserve. I could've kissed that grin, but I'd rather kiss it sober, first.
I think mayhap I'm getting old. This bodes not well...
Remember when you were little and somebody told you that you looked old for your age? Wot a compliment THAT was!
Now, when I got carded for buying smokes at the depanneur and she looked at me and said "YOU're 23?!" or when Kelly, breathtaking little ski team girl tells me I look 19...
That rocks. Most of John's friends blow me away, when I guess them at 35 and they turn out to be 43. Tim, who I shared a moment with yesterday evening, I pegged for 25, not 30.
I have a sneaking suspicion that by the time I hit 30 I'll be looking grandmotherly.
There's a reason I dye my brittle hair...
As for the bonding moment. Here's a bit of background music. We're all packed tightly into the CIEL ski-team van for the ride back to town (for the record, when *I* was driving it that morning, it took an hour to get to Sutton. It took an hour and 45 minutes to get back...)
Little hawaiian boy surprised me by having some rockin' tunes in the car. Y'know, 80's stuff that DOESN'T involve Neil Diamond. You never know with these jock-boys...
So the ride was one of the highlights of the day. My neck hurts, from CHAIR DANCING. Woohoo!
Then, we drop Kelly off at home on the south shore.
Pierre, (the little hawaiian) has tied tie-wraps to her thumb, though less tightly than he had before, because last time he cut the circulation off above her elbow, and it's TOUGH to cut those off when some little chicky is panicking.
CLimbing her stairs, barely dressed in this little white, low-cut t-shit-with-hood-thing (I'm sure there's a trendoid name for it), she ARCHES back (thrusting out the most perfect not-too-little mounds) and hurls the tie-wraps back at Pierre.
Only Tim and I are in the truck. We're both mesmerized. I breathe:
"What a hottie."
Tim looks at me and we *know* we were both thinking the exact same thing. We breathe out, the kids get back into the van. Tim and I start giggling uncontrollably, and refuse to explain it to Pierre (because there was yet a girl left in the truck), only announcing that we'd had a common vision.
Pierre eventually figured it out. He's wondering if he has a chance with the littl'un... I didn't want to discourage him, and last night was not the time for discussing that sort of thing.
But last night, my darling Prince Bunga, talked me down from all these memories of death. Last night, whilst interrupting my essay-writing haze and irritation at the little hawaiian's inability to think at all, prince Bunga told me I was beautiful.
Last night, before dropping off to sleep half-clothed from exhaustion, having only half-finished the essay for tonight, I wasn't alone at all.
I know this is incoherent, my brain seems to have decided to wait two days before being hungover. I don't get it, but then again, I never do.
I want the little boy in my class. I want my career to go back to where it was a year ago. I want school to be over, only I don't. I want another book to read, this one's almost done. I want to finish the essay for tonight. I want the VPN tobe working. I want to play EQ. I want to stroke someone's cheek while I lie over them, watching them sleep. I want a swedish berry to get caught on my tongue ring. I want to go toboganning before all the sbow disappears. I want to laugh until I can't breathe anymore and my stomach is convulsing as if I'm poisoned by mirth. I want to get my tattoo extended. I want my brain to work the way it used to before I used it up and before I used all those drugs. (I think the reason teen angst goes away in adulst isn't cuz their hormones calm down, it's cuz they get stupider and stop noticing the truths around them)
I want I want I want, I'd better got get to work on it.
But in the meantime - I want you. :)