"I've had a little bit to drink, and it's making me think... That I can jump ship if I want to..." --Ani Difranco, Swan Dive.
Get home, sit down (in front of the PC of course), hit winamp and the random song that comes up is Swan Dive... "And I don't care, if they eat me alive. I've got better things to do than survive."
Right. Oh, the melodrama. S'not anywhere near there, really, but it's nice to drown sometimes.
It's really nice to let go.
I just got back from the token evening I promised to spend with the puppydog before he moves to LA. It's going to be so great for him... And now that we "had our talk", I'm really happy for him. He's such a wonderful person... Good at heart, and impressively clever - and a good solid hit of being the new hotshot in town is going to seriously straighten things out...
Cool.
I just got an e-mail from my ex-girlfriend. My ex-husband's new fiancee, no less. She's miserable... But a good, hard-working, one year left of school she hates her roommates miserable. She's going to make it real far too...
And they're awesome for each other.
Wot about me?
I still don't think there are people out there for me.
The boy in my class - wot a hottie. Mmm-mmm, from the rosy cheeks to that beautiful smile, to the fact that he's read Dune, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, The Princess Bride - but hasn't seen the movies. And he likes to walk around naked. I know who I'll be dreaming about tonight.
But I'm already afraid of him, and we just exchanged numbers. I'm not ready for people... Not that close. Don't come that close. I'll tell you anything you want to know... Just don't stand so damn close.
I like the fact that my princes (King Bunga and King Rupert) are on a monstre kick this week. "We haven't seen you in months!" and all of a sudden the phone's ringing off the hook again. We went out for dinner - laughed until we couldn't breath and had cramps for days.
T'was awesome. Maybe we'll do it a couple mroe times, then lose touch for a couple of months...
If you take three steps back my life is an unbelievably predictable, though exceedingly strange, routine. Hey - have you hugged your monstre lately? Check your calendar, this month may be your turn.
No fucking wonder this town is so small.
But my boys... I've been seeing them regulrly, as *friends*, the kind that sometimes let me talk about the stuff I talk about in here - for almost a year now. Whoa, steady friends...
Crazy.
I dunno. Must be the wine. But the song has cycled, and I've got to be on a ski hill bright and chipper and early, so I take leave of thee now.
I love you all, I really, really do, I'm just having a hard time with this whole human thing.
Whaddya think. Am I still way too out there? I'm getting there, really...