A veritable rollercoaster and this tail end of 24 strange hours might be attributed to the full moon or an esoteric weirdness in the air but all I know is last night felt like a week.
(So how come I ain't on a plane yet? ;)
I stalked out of here furious, at betrayal, at finding out that money's going to be a lot tighter than I had planned for a few weeks. And I'd planned pretty good, too good. That'll learn me. ;)
I crunched up to my appartment, annoyed that the roommate's girlfriend is playing Martha Stewart in my kitchen, and how falsely happy to see me she always is. Lady, we've got nothing in common. You don't like me. I make you nervous. This doesn't bother me except that you insist on acting like you adore me...
Then again, that's another thing we have uncommon. I'm all for brutality, she's all for covering up sores in mounds of sugar - they don't heal but no one can see 'em, and that's all that matters, right?
I wander over the six blocks to see my boys, and pretend to be a nasty ol' vampire for a few hours. I wander in there, head full of disappointments and trying to figure out how to organize the next week or so, and wander in to find Marc with tear-streaks on his face.
My heart stops and whatever stupidhypercomment was on my lips dies right there and I sit down on the couch with Chris and the other Chris and wait. Then Chris (the one from Beaconsfeld with the third kidney, not my ex-brother-in-law) decides to change the video card in Lucky's machine so that EQ won't be so choppy.
Chris (the ex-brother-in-law) and I talk about Java and the O'Reilly book he's loaning me.
Everything's really quiet, real subdued, real tense. Real bad for the haven that I run to on Tuesdays...
Lucky wanders out of da kitchen, mixing muffin dough. I lick some off his fingertips (he rolls his eyes and we giggle uncontrollably) and he knocks me over on the couch and crushes in behind me and we spend the next two hours tickling each other and biting each other (it's funny how I know every single sensitive spot on his body and how to make him roll those pretty brown eyes and how to make him clench them tightly, but he's only lucky... He's my broda...) and nuzzling and trying not to breathe so loud.
"That's the first time I've ever felt a tongue ring." I laugh and follow him into the kitchen and make it extremely difficult for him to lubricate those muffin tins. (They ended up having to throw one away, believeitornot)
Marc calms down a bit.
I can't stop laughing uncontrollably, Marc feeds off it, starts cracking obscure geeky jokes and I'm getting beat on for my incessant puns.
We're all so high, nobody minds so much when I stake Jared (Chris #2's character) to keep him from chewing on me cuz he looks like a big alien now.
That's a long story.
marc feels better, lucky has to keep readjusting his pants, I'm so fucking happy it's making Chris1 roll his eyes and Chris2 act half his age (quite literally) and we proceed to make minced meat of the patrons of some seafood diner on the Pacos. (We were hungry, we'd been underground for days)
We game, we hunt, we make a royal mess and the adrenaline is flowing and then all of a sudden the game is over and despite eight million backrubs my character only gets 9 xp but it's enough to buy me a new thaumaturgical path...
And then everyone's discussing EQ but it's stuff that's too high level for me so I fall asleep in Lucky's lap and he strokes my hair with fingers too soft to be real and...
...I get home to Genevieve's orgasm ringing through the appartment, to the mess in my bedroom (I have piles of books that I brought home from work), to the shite I still have to get done this week, to the cold in the small of my back where Lucky's hand should still be, to Cobalt's misfortunes (which some strange trick of empathy make me worry, but then I like worrying) to e-mail from people expecting to see me this weekend to...
And do the whole cycle of euphoric-irate-annoyed and end up crawling into bed stinking of loneliness despite the fact that that was the one emotion that had nothing to do with today.
I dropped off to sleep, tired, and depressed because I just didn't have the energy not to be.
It's too early for pms, Cobalt suggested the full moon, I think it's a question of empathy, energy, and the fact that when I'm tired I'm not so good at keeping my spirits where I want 'em.
Either way, I'm just rambling now, I think I'll go have a smoke on the fire escape and see how long it takes before they realize that I'm out there with a book in my lap and aren't plannning to come back in and do any work.
*grin*
Oh. And I have a follow-up interview with Zeroknowledge tommorrow afternoon. heh.